When I came to work and live in China, I expected to learn more about my future, but I find, instead, that this trip has given me more perspective on the past. Long train rides to work are good for that. I think about this past semester and the choices I made, my family and my attitude, who and what I considered important and how that has changed. I can see how some things I did before were silly; I also think about things I regret.
Being in China, away from family and close friends, meeting new people and discussing new topics, is a good environment to be retrospective. In fact, the division between life before China, and life with this new perspective, is almost palpable. I'm so glad I have this opportunity to be ("in a sorts of sense") away from everything and everyone from before just so I can understand more about what it all means. It's like being on an island, separated from the rest of the world, with only your thoughts and memories.
I wonder what it will be like to come back after this. I wonder if I will ever change or what I'll do with this new understanding of the past. Long train rides are good for that.
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